Funeral planning checklist: recording your wishes
Writing down your funeral wishes is one of the most practical things you can do for the people you will leave behind. It does not need to be lengthy or formal. It just needs to be written down and easy to find. This checklist covers everything worth recording.
Why write your wishes down
When someone dies, the people left behind are often grieving while simultaneously making dozens of decisions they have no experience with. Burial or cremation. Religious or non-religious. What music. Who speaks. How much to spend.
A written record does not make those decisions for them -- they remain free to deviate if circumstances require it. But it gives them a clear starting point and removes the anxiety of guessing. Most families say that finding written wishes from the person who died is a relief, not a restriction.
Your wishes document is not a legal document. It is not a will. But in practice, families almost always do their best to honour it.
The checklist
Work through each section. Write as much or as little as feels right. Any information is more useful than none.
1. Burial or cremation
Do you prefer burial or cremation?
If cremation: what should happen to your ashes? (Kept, scattered, buried -- and where?)
If burial: do you have a preference for location? (A specific churchyard, cemetery, or woodland burial ground?)
Do you have a view on green or natural burial?
Do you have any religious or cultural requirements relating to burial or cremation?
2. Type of service
Do you want a funeral service, a memorial service, or no formal gathering?
Religious, non-religious, or humanist?
Large or small? Open to all or close family and friends only?
Any preference about where the service is held? (Church, crematorium, alternative venue, outdoors?)
Do you want a wake or a gathering afterwards?
3. Music and readings
Any specific music you would like played? (During the service, at entry, at exit?)
Any readings -- poems, prose, passages from a religious text?
Is there anyone you would like to give a eulogy or say a few words?
Any music or readings you would specifically not want?
4. Practical preferences
Do you have a preference about the coffin or casket?
Any preferences about flowers -- or a request for donations to a charity instead?
Do you want a notice in a local or national newspaper?
Any thoughts on clothing or presentation?
Is there anything you specifically do not want at your funeral?
5. Financial arrangements
Have you set aside any money specifically for your funeral?
Is there a life insurance policy that could cover funeral costs? (Policy number and provider.)
Have you made any pre-paid funeral arrangements? (If so, give details.)
Is there a preference about how much the funeral should cost?
6. Important documents and information
Where is your will kept? Who is your executor?
Where are your birth certificate, passport, and marriage or civil partnership certificate?
Who are your bank and building society providers? (Account numbers helpful but not essential.)
Do you have any pension arrangements? Who are the providers?
Is there anyone who will need to be told but may not hear through the usual channels?
Are there any online accounts, digital assets, or subscriptions that need to be closed?
Where to keep your wishes document
Keep the original with your will, and tell your executor and at least one other trusted person where to find it. Some people also give a copy to their GP or their funeral director if they have made advance arrangements.
Do not store it somewhere inaccessible before probate is granted. A solicitor's file or bank safety deposit box may be sealed in the days after a death. That is exactly when your family needs it.
Review it every few years, and after any significant life change: a house move, a bereavement in the family, a change in your wishes or beliefs.
A note on legal weight
Your wishes document is not legally binding. Your executor is not required to follow it. Most families honour it as closely as circumstances allow. But if there are debts or strong disagreements, the executor has discretion.
If you want to give your wishes more legal protection, speak to a solicitor about incorporating specific instructions into your will, or about a lasting power of attorney for health and welfare decisions made while you are still alive.